The Helper Becomes the Helpee

My heart's desire and passion in life is to serve God by helping and loving people.  I am flattered and honored whenever someone trusts me enough to come to me for counsel. I am humbled when I feel God laying someone on my heart to reach out to.  I have always preached the importance of sharing your struggles with other believers.  It breaks my heart to watch people alone in their pain.  We were never meant to go through our suffering alone.

But...

Guess who has a hard time admitting when they need help?  Guess who hates to admit when they are struggling?  Yep, this girl.  

I'm like a strong-willed child:  "I can do it by myself!"

Oh, I'll ask you to pray for me, and I'll tell you the situation, but I rarely ask for help, wisdom, advice, etc.  I'm supposed to be the strong one, right?  I help others so I should be able to figure out a solution for myself.  I don't have the luxury of being weak, I have people to help.  If I need help then won't those I've helped think less of me?  I'm supposed to be an example.  I'm the helper, the helper doesn't need help. I need to figure this one out with just me and God, and be tough.

Problem with all that is life is harsh at times, and it will catch up with you.  (Not to mention how hypocritical it was.)

Over the last few weeks I've just been in a pit.  I have felt slammed by life. Several different trials all hit me at once, and combined they leveled me.  I have felt hopeless, tired, and depressed.  Satan saw an opportunity to sneak in and got right to work.  He filled my head with lies and I believed them.  

"You shouldn't be depressed, you are supposed to be strong."

"It's your fault for not working hard enough."

"You need to keep this pathetic weakness to yourself."

"You cannot ask for help; you might lose your credibility and people will see you not having it all together."

"You will just burden people if you share your struggles, they are too busy."

"Keep this hurting pain to yourself, grieve alone, don't be selfish by talking about it."

I was in the bottom of this pit with what felt like no way out.

Praise God, I finally became so overwhelmed that I knew I needed help.  I reached out to a wonderful friend and mentor.  I was hesitant about calling her, but I knew God put her in my mind for this reason.  I poured out every bit of my heart and told her how I was drowning.  She then lovingly walked me through every bit of it and imparted wisdom given to her by our God.  She spoke truth into my life that I was lacking and desperately needing.  She cared, counseled, and prayed for me. 

I hadn't realized how Satan had crept in and set up camp.  He fed my weakness and filled my head with lie after lie.  I kept eating them all up and he kept on feeding and feeding.  Even though this is prideful and embarrassing to admit, I was shocked to see how sneaky he really can be.  I was shocked he could creep right in without my knowledge.

I'm not a special exception.  I need help just like everyone else. 

But oh my goodness! What a burden lifted when I asked for help.  My dear friend now knows I need accountability in this area and will hold me to it.  This prideful heart of mine needed to break, yet again.  I needed to cry out for help, to admit I was drowning.  

It's okay to be weak.

Share each other’s burdens.  Galations 6:2

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.  Proverbs 27:17

That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10