There's a Hole in My Favorite Cardigan

I was fifteen years old when the song Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter came out. There wasn't a teenage girl alive at the time that didn't know the lyrics.

"I still remember, when thirty was old..."

I loved this song. What teenage girl at the time didn't? However, I remember thinking, Um, I hate to disappoint you Ms. Carter, but thirty IS old...ancient actually. And life is pretty much over once that happens.

I'm not sure when it happened, but I am now a few years passed thirty. Now I'm thinking, I still remember when I was only thirty.

I've also reached a point in my life where I am not in the least bit cool. Probably because I still use the word "cool." Seriously, when I exclaim, "Cool!" to one of my kids--or worse, a teenager I know--I immediately cringe upon hearing it and wish to sew my mouth shut. It reminds me of when my dad would say things like, "He's come a courtin'," referring to a boy taking me on a date.

Other things let me know I am in fact this old...

I own a sewing machine and I am in love with it.

My hips ache with arthritis when it storms or the weather drastically changes. So much so that I have to take ibuprofen at times.

I have a hole in my favorite cardigan.

The fact that I have a favorite cardigan.

The fact that I have at least ten cardigans and think I need more. Please God, don't let them ever be unacceptable to wear.

The overwhelming awkwardness I feel if I try to step foot into an Aeropostale, Rue 21, or Forever 21. Don't even get me started about Hollister or Abercrombie...I feel like I cannot even walk near them. And what's with the loud music and fog of cologne pouring out the doors?

My nine year old is mortified when I dance.

The smell of Axe body spray is highly offensive to me.

I hate to be out past 8:30 pm.

When my daughter was in tumbling a few years ago I tried to show her a cartwheel...I nearly puked.

I drive a mini-van...and I freaking love it.  Haters gonna hate.

I have a bad back.

I saw a commercial for a car seat that goes from fitting an infant to practically a teenager and I immediately texted 3 friends to tell them how amazing this car seat was and that I NEEDED it.

Ninety-nine percent of my wardrobe choice is based on comfort.  High heels? I don't think so.

I like to watch Wheel of Fortune

Jumping on a trampoline will guarantee that I will be sore in a few hours and that I do not have the bladder control I once did.

I refuse to download Facebook Messenger and I get really mad at the little otter holding the sign up telling me to download it. Don't tell me what to do, otter.

I was in a group text the other day with two good friends from college discussing how embarrassing our choices were in our weddings. Other than my groom, I shouldn't have been allowed to pick out decor, hair, songs...dear lord.

We all had weddings eons before Pinterest.

I miss Destiny's Child.

My favorite television show of all time has been on Nick At Nite...for several years.

I find myself Googling things like "bae," "emoji," and most recently "piog" because I keep seeing it on an online yard sale----also this.

I love watching the news and am very particular about only watching Channel 6. I may have went into a little depression when Dish dropped them for a few weeks. Please! I need to see Leanne, Rich, Alan, Teri, Scott, Lori, Craig, and especially Travis!

My high school friends and I went to dinner last week. One of the topics of discussion was what we were going to do about this Dish/Channel 6 dispute because we couldn't possibly go on any longer with this chaos. We also discussed prices of satellite TV and cell phone bills.

We had to leave dinner by 8:30 because we were all yawning and ready for bed.

I'm a great aunt. Not great as in awesome, but great as in I have two nieces and a nephew who have children of their own making them my great nieces and nephews.

I love Cracker Barrel. The food, the store, all of it.

Branson

I get really mad when I hear the price of stamps are going up.  Can we calm down with this?

I graduated high school last millennium.

My daughter has asked me if they had TV back when I was a kid.

I can say I easily remember what life was like before the Internet existed.

Eating fast food wreaks havoc on my body. Long John Silver's is not even kind of an option.

I am always cold.

When I think back to the days to when Kerry was a youth minister and we had all night lock-ins I do not understand how I could possibly function if I had to do that now. Just no.

The fact that this list is so very long and I could keep going.

Tell me some of the things that make you old...