The Tornado

After getting the kids off to school one morning I attempted to lay back down and go to sleep. Ainslee wasn't up yet, so I thought I'd get a few more minutes of rest. However, my mind raced with things I wanted and needed to get accomplished for the day.

My entire house looked like a tornado had blew through. Which did sort of happen. Ainslee is just as destructive as an EF4. You can see a trail of debris around her at all times. Her hair most of the time even resembles tornado damage. Wild and scattered.

Anyhow, I had lots to get done around my house.

Here is the laundry that was waiting on me.

Top picture is the clean laundry I never got around to folding/putting away the previous week.

Bottom photo is the mountain of laundry waiting to be washed...then folded...then put away. It's a vicious cycle, and if I get behind this is what I deal with. I have no idea what the Duggers do on laundry day. Maybe they do laundry month.

Also not pictured was a stack of Ainslee's clothing that had to be pre-treated before washing because, again she eats like I imagine a little tornado would eat. 

Ainslee ate breakfast like four times. 

I gave her a yogurt...that was not enough.

I gave her half of my cream of wheat...that was not enough.

I gave her a bowl of Cheerios...she still signed the word "more" and had a meltdown when I attempted to get her out of her high chair.

So, I gave her an entire huge bowl of blueberries...she devoured them but it finally seem to satisfy her teenage boy appetite.

Upon her release from the highchair she was off. Off to destruct and climb. Destruct, climb onto the dining table, get into trash, turn her CD player up full volume and blast "Let it Go," (something she does at least 5 times a day) and empty out the contents of every drawer, container, bin she can possibly find.

If Ainslee is quiet you don't walk, you run to see what the girl is up to. It's never a good thing. I seriously stopped one second to read a text message on my phone, looked up and she had the toothbrush I used to scrub stains out of clothes in her mouth.

I know you are all dying for an opportunity to babysit. 

Let her sleep, for when she wakes she will destroy your home.

Around mid day I put her down for a nap. On days where I am disciplined enough, I use a portion of her nap time to read my Bible. It's the only time of day I have alone. It's the time of day I feel I can give God my best, my full attention with no distractions. Sadly some days I am tempted to just watch TV or browse the Internet. Today I thought, "I have so much housework to get done...I really just need to get it done." But I felt God gently remind me I really need him more.

So I stopped. I grabbed my Bible and sat down. I read and prayed unrushed while my little cyclone took a nap.

God's word is good, and I always always need it. Even when I think I'm good on my own, I need it. I needed it today, and I absorbed the goodness God had to offer me.

Making the time for prayer and studying God's word daily should be a top priority. Yet, I do neglect it more than I care to admit.

Here is where I notice a significant difference in my day when I stop and give God my full attention...

My little EF4 eventually woke up...hungry of course. After eating she continued on her path of destruction. After all, her changing table contents were not going to empty themselves.

She did a million little things that normally would cause a desire to pull my hair out, but I was calm and not even annoyed. I instead saw the beauty in her destructive curious little face. 

Shortly after 3:00 I decided I would leave a little earlier to pick up the kids from the bus stop so I could go to the post office first. After loading Ainslee up I turned the key to start the van...it didn't even try to start. Completely dead. For a quick second I almost panicked. 

Kerry is in Tulsa...

Our other vehicle is at the mechanic...

Then I stopped and thought:

Well, it looks like I'm just going to have to walk.

Now, I am out of shape, Ainslee is heavy, and I have a bad back. But these thoughts came to mind:

It is such a good thing you were going to leave early! This gives you just enough time to walk the back road to the campground.

I'm so glad it's not one of those freezing days with awful weather or pouring rain!

I'm glad my back is okay enough today to be able to carry Ainslee this distance.

Thank goodness the kids ride the bus to a place that I can actually walk to.

When the van didn't start I had called Kerry and he was having coffee with a friend he hadn't seen in a few years. He didn't answer. Honestly there was nothing he could have done anyways, but in the first moments I instinctively called him first.

He called me back when I was halfway to the bus stop. I was short of breath when I answered, and I explained the situation. He was apologetic and then suddenly remembered he had left the headlights on...he was then very apologetic.

If this had been one of the days I neglected to spend time with God, I would've probably made him feel bad and then continued to be cranky and whiny the entire evening.

This day, I laughed and said, "It's fine! At least we know for sure it's the battery...I'm just glad to know nothing serious is wrong with the van!"

I wasn't upset with him. I was just relieved our vehicle wasn't broken down.

I even thought about him visiting with his friend. I was so glad he had the opportunity to get away for the day and enjoy fellowship with someone else.

Those of you that know me well know that I am not "miss optimist look on the bright side." I can quickly be a Negative Nancy, a Debbie Downer. For example, the day before I bawled and screamed after I got off the phone with the Health Marketplace. I also made sure everyone around me knew I was not happy. Guess what? I also did not make any time for God that day. I did that day all on my own.

However, on this day I realized the calmness I felt. I know Kerry was pleasantly surprised I wasn't snapping at him or the kids. I thought back to my prayer earlier in the day...

God, give me wisdom and knowledge. May I be slow to speak, slow to anger, and quick to listen. Fill me with You. I need you Lord, every day, every hour, every minute.

God is faithful.

My attitude is significantly different on days where God is my focus versus days where my circumstances are. Even when the hardest days come, and they will, my peace and calm are found in God alone.

Butt crack out and Barbie leg on the floor. This is Miss Ainslee Blake, ladies and gentlemen.