Go and Learn

The day I came to this passage of scripture I was feeling pretty proud of myself. Look at me, getting my bible study on. God is probably proud as he sticks a star on my chart. I know...super Pharisee loser. I might as well have stood out on the street corner praying aloud about how great I was and how lucky God was to call me his child. Pretty sure God laughed as he knew what he was about to say to my heart. He should have anyways.

As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

On hearing this, Jesus said, "it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means; I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." -Matthew 9:10-13

So first off let me say this:  you know it's a bad thing when you feel like you have more in common with the Pharisees. I just want to be clear--that is not a positive thing.

I love to read scripture and be like, "Yeah, that's right Jesus...you tell those Pharisees idiots what's up." But this time, I felt God pricking my heart and asking me to examine my own heart because it favored the attitude of the Pharisees.

Here's why.

I am often surrounded by the healthy and I do not look for the sick. I care tremendously for those in my life that I'm comfortable with, family and friends. But what about those I don't know? What about the ones drowning in pain? What about the people who just need a friend, and more importantly need Jesus. And just who are the sick?

I kept seeing the verse, "Go and learn what this means," over and over. Go and learn, go and learn.

I sat still, prideful wind knocked completely out of me. I hear you God, please forgive me because I don't even know what this means or looks like in my own life.

I prayed, "Please God open my eyes. I have had them shut. I've been keeping to myself, trying desperately to keep my world comfortable. I do not look for opportunities surrounding me to serve others that I do not know, or am not comfortable around."

A few days later I was at the lake and some ladies were there that sadly I would normally judge and write off because of their words, attitudes, and actions. I hate admitting this, because I honestly don't like this about me. It's ugly; I make a wonderful Pharisee, and I don't want to make a wonderful Pharisee. Why do you eat with tax collectors and sinners?  Anyhow, I remembered "go and learn." I could feel God showing me his love for them instead. I didn't focus on all that could make me uncomfortable about these women, I instead felt inclined and burdened to pray for them. I asked God to help me see them they way Jesus would.

I feel him changing my attitude. It begins with seeing people the way Jesus does. Serving people the way Jesus would. Loving people the way Jesus would. For far too long I haven't been doing that. That's not okay anymore. Brick by brick this safe wall of comfort I have built is being torn down.

Go and learn, go and learn. I'm praying for God to move my feet and teach me along the way.