The Calling I Have Downplayed

Two weeks ago when the ice/snow storm hit, our family was cooped up together for six days before we could get out of the house. We were incredibly thankful that we mainly received snow and our electricity remained on. Having been through two ice storms in the past, I know how awful it can be to go a few weeks without power or running water.

Anyhow, during the week we were snowed in I was excited to do all my little Pinterest projects with the kids. We baked, we crafted, we decorated, we played in the snow, we watched Christmas movies, we did it all. Then we ran out of things to do...and the temperature remained below freezing. It was impossible to get out of our driveway, and even if we could have the highway was iced over. We were beginning to go stir crazy. Our children began to grate on our nerves. Each passing night as I watched the weather, I was begging the weatherman to say, "Tomorrow will be above 32 degrees and all this will melt away." I also watched the school closing list scrolling by hoping to not see "Keys School" when the K's came up.

After a week, the kids were finally able to go back to school. This mama was happy. However, the kids would come home and continue their new obnoxious routine of being loud, fighting, being loud, getting in their baby sister's grill, making huge messes...oh, and let's not forget being loud.

I have become very short with them the last few days. Tonight after they went to bed I started to reflect on the day
and I felt terrible. As much as these two little monsters drive me crazy, I love them one hundred times more. I crept into Hayden's bedroom where they were both sound asleep, sat down on the bed, and began to pray for them both. I also begged God to forgive me.

More than anything, I want my kids to see God in me, but a lot of time all they see is grumpy mama who just wants them to be quiet or go play.

So often I fail to recognize the fact that I am a missionary in my own home. God has blessed me with the responsibility of raising these babies and pointing them to know Him. Yes, I am to focus on the lost world around me, but being a godly mama and wife is the main thing he has called me to do. Yet, I often take that responsibility lightly. I often think because I'm not reaching the masses that my role isn't significant enough.

Shame on me.

God forgive me.

God has called me to do an amazing thing. I have a huge responsibility. I want my kids to know Him, and follow Him. That needs to begin with them seeing Him working in me. I pray that I stop forgetting how important that is. That I stop forgetting how blessed I truly am to have the gift of Hayden, Deacon, and Ainslee. This gift of raising my children to love God is the biggest calling of my lifetime. May I never downplay it again.